Please not my sleep…..

As I’ve mentioned before I’ve currently got loads of stuff going on in my life which in general means I’m not having the best of times.

I know (well very much hope) things will all get resolved and long term things will become settled, life will become a little less stressful, more exciting and hopefully more under my control.

So at the minute when I just can’t face any more of the day, or tears seem imminent and I can’t even face another human to be in contact with I take great comfort and solace in my bed. Sleeping. Dreaming and not facing my current reality. I love sleep, I love my bed and I love nice dreams (even the ones which make waking up a little bit disappointing as you’d like the dream instead)

However, two nights running this comfort has been stolen from me. Sunday night, I was so tired and exhausted I couldn’t even sleep I was too restless. I seemed to lay there for hours before finally my comfort swept over me and sleep came. Last night as I went to bed I hoped I wouldn’t have a repeat of the endless being awake when I should be asleep, I had nothing to worry about, well not in the first instance, I dropped off like a raindrop from a flower the second it lands. Oh no, last night it was nightmares that stole my sleep safety blanket. Horrible realistic nightmares. I woke up in the middle of the night that upset I almost didn’t dare fall back asleep and when I did they returned. I can handle scary unpleasant made up stuff but this was real people in my real life and bad things happening.

They’ve been playing on my mind all day too, so much so, guess what? Yep, I’m already worried what tonight will bring.

I really don’t want to lose control over my sleep as a good night means so much, especially now. Fingers crossed I just ate something funny eh.


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